Esoteric Northumberland Routes

Story & Photos: Al Horsfield

January 15^th, 2018

LIKE A MOTH TO A FLAME SELDOM-DONE ROUTES DRAW MY ATTENTION.

In this short article, I will try to explain my fascination with these adventures , concentrating on the best the County has to offer. Some are routes (or roots) to grapple with, others are clean but seldom done (because they are not at Bowden). Expect potential partners to have suddenly developed other plans....but they’re there to enjoy.

The definition of an esoteric rock route is controversial. Some experts (in the pub) define them as having a rock-to-moss ratio of less than one (R:M<1). I tend to prefer the simpler ‘not often climbed’ as a better one. Let me entice you over the dull winter months (when you’re not climbing esoteric ice routes) to look forward to a summer of new discoveries across the grades, no crowds and getting bits of moss out of your eyes. I include a tick list to inspire and aspire to at the end, covering a range of grades, with the M grade included: M0: Pristine, solid, no access problems (yawn) to M3: A good growing ground and/or loose with difficult jungle access.

Crag Lough

Unfortunately synonymous with esoteric, this is a playground for those versed in jungle approaches and with a reputation for loose blocks. Try the far eastern end in high summer. A fascinating variety of toxic-smelling plants set in to the steep approach guard the wonders that await. John Spencer and myself made a foray to start on Hoozit’s Crack Direct Start, about HVS 4c M2. Take some anti-histamines (nettle stings) and large cams and you will love it. John chose large hex protection to add to the feel of the day, and we were rewarded .

Stone Warrior

Move west and ignore the clean walls and fine routes of Whinstone Churchill E25b and its Direct variation, E3 5c and M0. Instead gaze up and left to a greener, steep wall with fine cracks, sprouting some exotic plants to guide you up. This is The Stone Warrior (E1,5b, M2). It felt unsporting having climbed it only recently, but luckily some plants had re-established themselves , so the nut key had to be put to good use and we experienced a steep satisfying and seldom-done climb (I first climbed it 12 odd years ago with my now wife, and I expect that was the second ascent !)

God lives under water

Next another old favourite , surprisingly modern and clean for an esoteric classic, Mark Savage’s God Lives Under Water (E2,5b,M0) takes a direct line between Main Wall and Great Chimney with fantastic climbing in the upper reaches.

Padda Crag

Climbing with my long-suffering brother provides a fine opportunity to head for less popular areas. This year we revisited Padda Crag. Squeezed in between a secret military base and the Cumberland border it has fantastic views, shelter from north winds and amazing lichen-covered holds, with crack lines abundant in obstinate vegetation. We climbed the wonderful Padda Wall (HS, 4b, M1), which could be spoilt by a pre-ascent brushing of the verdant flat crimps. Churnsike Crack (Severe, M3) provides a fine line, with good holds, bats, and even some rock (although I suspect we reduced the grade to M2 after a couple of ascents). If you want something harder, try Red Cloud, allegedly HVS, 5b, M1. Many easier E2s are to be had in the County. Giles looked at the roof and overhang with an air of superiority and refused a go, having just conquered Churnsike Crack.

Linshiels One

Try a trip to this fine crag, having first checked you will not be used for target practice. The approach, although short, is boggy and has the risk of unexploded shells and angry sheep. The reward is a fine south facing crag, sporting Gully Wall (Severe, M2) and the fine Flanking Arete (MVS, 4c, M0). Once Gully Wall is identified, possible special forces snipers removed and remaining wild life extricated, it provides a fine line. Flanking Arete is boringly clean and unimaginatively named, but is simply brilliant. The Mirage (E3,5b,M0) is a superb, bold line, and try Offensive (VS,5a,M1). Giles’s outbursts would have offended the most hardened squaddie , as he thrashed his way up this brilliantly undergraded line.

Mirage and Flanking Arete on the right of the wall .

Other classic lines

Rampart Crack at Ravensheugh (HVS,5b, M1) is a fine example of a long walk-in combined with the ability to then walk past all the other classic lines to try your hand (or fists) at a brilliant overhanging jamming line. Howlerhirst Crag sports many fine clean lines, including April Fool (E2, 5b, M0) and the classic Howlerhirst Chimney (Severe, M1). It may well defeat those used to pulling plastic at sanitised indoor walls. Having romped up most of the E grades I recall a certain Mr Joe Spoor grunting and shouting, throwing shapes in the chasm and getting my No.5 cam stuck. All good sport.

Coe Crag sits atop a hill overlooking Thrunton. It abounds in midges, grainy rock, dubious protection, indwelling plant life and is thus a rich vein for the enthusiast of the esoteric. Ignore the perfect Honeycomb Wall, and scramble round to Coe Crag Corner (HS, M2) and glance worryingly at Coe Conut (VS,5a, M4) - I failed to do this under current conditions. By the by, the descent gullies can provide fine winter climbs in a hard season (Brown Ice Grooves 2/3 and Chocolate Chimney 2/3 -2010). Or drop down a level and try Pig Crack (HVS, 5b, M2).Seldom seen, offwidth, grainy and hard to protect.

Sandy Crag provides some reasonable hard climbs , but our attention is grabbed by Fang Crack (VS, 5a, M3) which requires a constant gardening approach and the superb McAlpine’s Groove (Severe, M3, R:M = 0.35). It was also found to have a non-loose section of rock, a tree and an overhanging belvedere of heather to top-out . A must for the enthusiast.

Spadeadam Crag . Well ,it’s JUST in Cumbria but en route to Padda Crag. Some wonderful vegetated lines. A classic E3 5b M1 (for effort) Backstreet Crawler and many, many others .